Archive for February, 2008

Wednesday, February 27th, 2008

It doesn’t take much to end up back at that place, emotionally. I don’t think I really understood that until last night. It doesn’t have to be your situation. It doesn’t have to be connected to you at all. All you have to do is hear the story and voila - you’re back in that horrible, terrible place you never wanted to see or examine again, if you could help it. 

A life unexamined may be a bad thing, but a suicide attempt unexamined might not be so bad. So long as it’s not your attempted suicide.

The story I heard last night was relayed by someone who hadn’t attempted. We are the people on the outside, the ones that the attempt was performed against, if that’s a concept that has legs.

The ones who went through 24 hours of sheer and unadulterated hell, calling borders, calling credit card companies, yelling at officers, crying in hot and leaky tears that never quite stopped, all the while still trying to smile at a confused toddler. Sitting with a roomful of people who could do nothing other than wait and try to invent new and wild CSI style methods of triangulating and tracking a missing person. Ceaselessly calling a cell phone that never did get answered, until some random stranger with a badge picked it up with the question, “Are you the ex?”

Or, in her case, the one who sat beside the bathtub, holding a head and hoping that the person housed in the body was still going to be there when the paramedics arrived. Someone who ended up responsible for someone else’s life, in the middle of the night, on a hunch. A responsibility that should never be put on someone else.

I know I’ve never talked about what happened with my ex in any detail. Even with friends and family, I’ve never really talked about that time in any detail. My mother, bless her soul, was there. She saw what it was. She doesn’t need to ask. My girlfriend with the fuzzy halo of hair happened to stop beside us on our way to the airport once we knew he was okay and saw the immediate after-effects. As she has said, more than once since that point, “I never want to see that look on your face again.”

The instant of horror when you realize that this isn’t some dramatic after-school special, or a lame made-for-TV-movie. When you get a call and someone tells you that there’s been a suicide note. When you understand that this is not a drill. That someone has indeed, taken a leap towards death. The surge of adrenaline, the receding of blood from your extremities, the pounding of your heart that’s all you can hear. Running down to the basement, pounding on your mother’s door to say, in numb tones “there’s a suicide note.”

Talking to your mother-in-law on one phone and the police on the other - simultaneously. Avoiding the phone as other calls pour in, telling you what you already know - that there’s been a note.

The pounding of footsteps when you walk in from outside, giving you an almost relief, before you realize that it’s just someone else who’s realized that there is a crisis. Who, when you hug them, matches your heartbeat in that pounding rhythm of fear.

Facing other family members as they travel in to hold vigil with you. Feeling responsible, feeling guilty, feeling broken. But unable to put the burden down for even a second. Having that thread of fear and dread running through you. Not sleeping. Not eating. Not functioning, except for those numb, repeated calls to a cell phone that never gets answered. Can’t leave messages anymore, there’s no point. All the bargaining and pleading have gone away, leaving just the compulsion to call.

Then there are the results. The fact that anyone you care about having a bad day creates a whisper in your ear. Creates a worry. A worry which, if not addressed, becomes a scream in the back of your head. Because you know exactly what’s possible. You know that the surreal can become the real and that it will wash the colour out of the rest of your life for a long time afterwards. That the world can turn on a dime and that people can, in fact, depart without the cause of sickness or accident. That people can simply choose to depart.

Yup, it’s Valentine’s Day

Thursday, February 14th, 2008

And generally, not a day I pay that much attention to. It really isn’t a big deal for the majority of the population. Yes, I said majority. It irks the shit out of  me when single people rampage about how the holiday is meant to make them feel awful due to their status.

I can tell you, after spending eight years in a relationship, and having many friends who were also in long-term relationships - Valentine’s Day ain’t for the marrieds, neither.

Oh sure. You may get a card. Or a kiss. Or you may even go out for dinner if there’s a blue moon and your lover has been addled by a stray arrow from some fat-assed cherub.

But generally? The Valentine’s Day celebrations of those in long-term relationships could be realistically and sincerely defined as token. You do it because you have to. Or you decide as a couple to ignore the day, because damnit - it’s February and it’s cold and you’re still up to your elbows in Christmas bills and the kid’s got a runny nose and the mother-in-law is in a snit and demanding the return of the crockpot she gave you a decade ago.

In short, it generally feels about as romantic as a quickie during the commercial break.

So really? This little holiday is about the new lovers. Designed for those who are just discovering each other. The ones who are humming about birds appearing. The ones who can’t quite wipe the (perma) grins off their faces.

The ones who send random pictures that wouldn’t make any sense whatsoever to anyone else, but make perfect sense to the sender and reciever.

Not that I’m involved in any such things. Because we don’t go in for cutesy.

Not at all.

Sleep is my BFF.

Monday, February 11th, 2008

For no reason that I can fathom, I’ve done more sleeping in the last five months than I think I’ve ever done in the past. At first I chalked it up to heavy emotions and a desire to escape. After that, I wrote it off as part and parcel of the rigours of single parenting and figured it would improve over time.

Now, I’m starting to wonder exactly wherefore the frog is at. As it was Rosebud’s weekend with her father, I had a chance to sleep in on Sunday. This was nice. Sleeping in is good. But when you sleep in until 12:15 and then return to bed in an exhausted heap by 9:15, you have to start wondering.

You see, this is not unusual for new and sleepy me. Frequently, I’m in bed at a ridiculously early hour. I nap every single weekend afternoon, even if I’ve gone to bed at a wild and crazy 9:00 pm on Saturday night. I’m a regular feature in the corporate nap room, averaging about twice a week for nappies.

I sleep. Boy, do I sleep.

I got concerned enough about it that I started taking multivitamins. Still no appreciable change in the sleep patterns. I eat reasonably healthy, lots of iron and good proteins and the like. And I’m still wandering around like I could nap every hour on the hour. 

Still no change.

This is getting bizarre.

I mean, I’m generally a nine hours a night kind of girl. I like my sleep and I cherish it. But this is getting to be wild. The twelve hour sleeps used to be a rare marathon kind of thing, occuring with less frequency than re-run or “how stupid do they think we are because this is a re-run, but you’ve changed the packaging and called it a review” episodes of Lost. Now, it occurs with the frequency of CSI episodes (which, by the way, could be viewed in a rolling rotation for 24 hours solid on about ten different channels, if you had more than basic cable and were OUT OF YOUR MIND).

What gives? Am I getting more hibernatory? Am I in some kind of bizarre physical fugue? Or am I really careening toward blue-haired drooliness at such a speed that I’ll shortly be dozing off in the hallway of some nursing home, with only the occasional passing nurse to pat my frail head and hold a mirror under my nose?

I must know . . .

The Wyliekat in the Hat.

Friday, February 8th, 2008

I don’t know if it’s Starbucks, or the presence of T-dot, or if it really is related to my ten dollar hat. For whatever reason, I had yet another strange encounter with a strange person yesterday.

I’m beginning to get frissons of fear and pricklings of panic every time someone says “cool hat”.

Which was the start of this particular bizarre trip into an alternative universe conversation. T-dot and I had made it through most of the coffee-run ritual. We were, in fact, on our way out the door when the words of doom were uttered. Uttered by a man wearing a black coat with a rather decorative lapel, now that I think about it.

Mastering my fear, I uttered a polite “thanks”. No eye contact, no smile, no stopping. Just a casual exchange.

But no. It couldn’t possibly end there, could it?

“I had a hat like that last year. But girls kept stealing it.”

Pause.

“It was my pimpin’ hat.”

Pause.

“But I don’t beat my girls. I’m a nice pimp.”

?!?

Finally mustering up something to say as I crawled into the vehicle that’d he’d more or less followed us to*, I gasped out a “duly noted.”

“Duly taken”, he retorted quickly.

“Duly penetrated.” was T-dot’s immediate comment the moment the door was closed.

All I can say for sure is this - the next time someone comments on this hat in a Starbuck’s, they’re going to find themselves wearing it. And depending on how bad their approach is, they may not actually be sporting it on their head.

*In all fairness, his car was parked beside ours, so it wasn’t quite as creepy as it sounds.

Drifting out of the gene pool on a lazy summer day.

Thursday, February 7th, 2008

For no reason that I can fathom/imagine, that stupid “trust test” from team-building retreats of yore has popped into my head recently. You know the one I mean - the famously, repeatedly and irritatingly lampooned “fall back and your team will catch you” bit.

I haven’t looked and don’t want to, but I’m sure the whole thing has been debunked or redefined as a test of overriding base instinct, rather than a question of trust. I mean, in the state of nature, you weren’t really meant to be encouraged to fall backwards with no visible means of supporting yourself, all in the vain hope that something would save you. Like a perfect d20 roll resulting in the Hand of God stopping a plummeting freefall.*

So I’m sure that there’s an argument - and a valid one - that says all you’re doing is unlearning all of those hard-won Tips on Surviving as a Homo Sapien when you play this little game.

Me, I would cheerily climb up onto whatever platform I was meant to fall from - be it a handy picnic table or nearest high diving board and, once I’d overcome my survival instinct, I’d unhesitatingly fling myself backward into the waiting arms of my team.

I say this not even knowing who would be on such a team, or if they liked me or I liked them. I would trust all of them with my very vulnerable form and it wouldn’t really matter who they are or what they secretly think of my hairdo or work ethic.

They would catch me simply because the alternative would be tantamount to a confession of baser self. It would literally be an anti-social act. Any I don’t believe that human beings in this kind of group setting would collectively perform an anti-social act. And their catching me would change nothing about anyone’s opinions regarding hairdo, work ethic or team-building.

. . .

Yes, this shit randomly enters my head sometimes. I have no explanation for it, but I think it’s safe to assume I’m feeling moderately better. Finally.

*Okay, so I’m a geek. But that actually happened to me once, back in the days when I played AD&D.