Archive for the ‘Rosebud’ Category

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Why I hate sharing events with my ex

Friday, December 18th, 2009

Not because they were casually dressed, front and centre and holding a camera, whereas I haven’t showered today (thanks to my hot water tank for exploding last night), arrived just in time, looking harassed and stressed (because I am - work is insane right now), and parked myself in a chair in the corner.

Not because I didn’t have my Buddy there (thanks again to my hot water tank for exploding last night, requiring one member of our household to stay home and wait for nice fixit people), or any other stars-in-alignment rationale.

No, the reason I hate sharing events is because Rosebud always goes to ex and girlfriend first.

The thing is - I know *why* she does it. She doesn’t live with them, and only has one overnight with them a week. Therefore, they are the speshul parents - the ones whose attention she gets more rarely, and therefore, covets more.

They’re also the parents who don’t have to poke the child awake every morning, wrestle her into clothing, and shuffle her occasionally unwilling body off to school. They don’t have to fight with her about what’s appropriate and what isn’t. Or about what she can have and what she can’t. They can afford to indulge her every whim, because we’re there to do all the discipline.

So yeah - I know why I get to be second fiddle at shared events. I understand it, and can even appreciate that, on one level, this means that I’m such a constant in her life she doesn’t even think about it. I know that this means she feels secure and safe with my love.

But in no way does that make it suck less.

All that said - Juniper and I were able to watch the concert together, and appreciate the awesomeness of our youngest family member together. When she finally did run over to us, yelling “Group kiss, group kiss!”, my joy over being with my girls was pretty much complete.

My kids are pretty much awesome all over.

Posted in Being a girl, Juniper, Rant, Rosebud, buddy, divorce, family | 2 Comments »

My daughter, my therapist.

Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009

Over the past couple of days, Rosebud has been applying some heavy duty emotional grind to her mother (and really, all of her beloved and loving family). It feels like being inside a keg of suspicious looking black powder in a room full of nervous, lighter-bearing pyromaniacs. You just never know what’s going to set off the explosion. After a while, you become conditioned to flinch at everything.

So that’s been our last couple of days with the spirited, one-of-a-kind child that is Rosebud. However, I think she’s doing her infamous mind-melding trick again. Like any child this well-versed in tyranny, she senses when she’s pushed her loyal subjects too far.

She then throws them a bone.

Last night, halfway up the stairs to bed (typically a raging minefield, with the black powder and aforementioned nervous pyros), she decided to take matters into her own hands.

Rosebud: You be me, and I’ll be da mama.

To reinforce this, she put her hand on my back to gently encourage me up the stairs.

Rosebud: Okay honey, it’s time for bed.

If you could resist this opportunity, you’re a better woman, mother and human than I will ever be.

Me: But I don’t WAAAAAAANNNNAAAAAA GO TO BED!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

To my surprise, this was precisely the response Rosebud was after. Apparently, she sensed that I might feel better if I could play the role of recalcitrant child.

To be able to whine loudly and have it elicit giggles and encouragement? Oh hells yeah, it was on.

All the way up the stairs, through the toothbrushing process, the final potty break and the pyjama donning, I carried on with my tantrum. At full volume. Until my throat hurt.

Damn, that felt fan-fucking-tabulous. Must do it again some time.

Posted in Happiness, Rosebud, family | 4 Comments »

I suppose there’s something vaguely funny* about this

Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

I took Rosebud for her four-year old check-up yesterday. Those of you who recall that her birthday is in August might be wondering why she’s having her four-year appointment a full two months after she actually reached the milestone, and as to that well . . . in my defense, I did make the appointment before her birthday. However, when you’re seeing the doctor for non-emergent purposes, the wait can get long.

Those of you who are opposed to free medicine in the ‘States can go ahead and make the obligatory comments about state-funded medical care. I’ll carry on with the post while you do that, mmmmkay?

So anyway, this very nice doctor - the very same lady who came into the hospital room four years ago to have a looksee at my shiny new person (complete with new person smell!) - is someone with whom I’m certain I would have had an excellent working relationship.

If only Rosebud ever actually required the services of a doctor.

She was weighed and measured (41 inches and 43.4lbs, in case you wondered. This puts her in the 90th percentile for both height and weight. Also, just in case you wondered.), poked and prodded, tested and questioned - throughout all of which she stood calmly, leaning against me for warmth (she’s always made to strip down to her underwear. I left), telling the doctor about everything, including school, Buddy, Juniper, counting and beyond.

The doctor couldn’t seem to stop saying “healthy”. Healthy hair, healthy eyes, healthy blood pressure, feet, fingers, ears . . . we heard the word healthy so many times, I thought I’d accidentally tuned into a Weight Watcher’s meeting down the hall.

And then, her doctor looked at the contents of her extremely slender chart and said, “You know you can bring her to me whenever she needs something, right? Anytime. Really.”

I nodded.

“That’s what I’m here for.”

I nodded again, more vehemently this time. I wouldn’t want her thinking we were seeing some other doctor behind her back.

She took another, last look at Rosebud’s chart and said, “She just doesn’t get sick, does she?”

No doc - she really doesn’t. And I’m very glad of this fact, though I sometimes wonder when we’re going to catch up on the backlog of childhood ailments. And I know my doctor is grateful, too. I’m certain that the slightly mournful note in her tone when she made the observation was entirely incidental.

* Funny peculiar, not funny ha-ha. And only because I really wanted to use the word “ironic”, but can’t because SOME people are everso up in arms about the appropriate usage of the word, rather than allowing more liberal interpretations - which this would have been. This makes me very cranky, because it would’ve been the best-suited (loosely interpreted) word for this header and I’m more than a little grumpy at the language restricting ruleniks of the world.

Ahem.

As you were.

Posted in Health, Rosebud | 2 Comments »

Anatomy with a four-year old

Wednesday, October 21st, 2009

Rosebud: Mama, I’m gonna blow you a kiss.

Me: Okay.

Rosebud: But you have to swallow it.

Me: Swallow it?

Rosebud: Yes, that’s how it gets in your stomach and then to your heart.

Posted in Odds and Sods, Rosebud | 1 Comment »

How was my morning?

Tuesday, October 6th, 2009

Picture it: Somewhere, out there, in the year 2030. Rosebud and Juniper are at their weekly joint therapy session. Each clutches a box of Kleenex.

Therapist: Let’s go back to what we were talking about last week. I think we were talking about *her*, right?

Both women nod vigorously.

Therapist: Yes, I remember. We were talking about the fall of 2009.

Again, they nod.

Therapist: Well, don’t clam up now, ladies. I think we were getting close to a breakthrough!

Juniper: It’s just so hard to talk about.

Rosebud: It was really . . . crushing.

Juniper: There was this one day in early October. We were supposed to have picture day at school. We had these matching dresses that our grandmother got us, and we were really excited to wear them. I remember I even got up early and started getting ready early. And then . . .

Therapist: Then what?

Rosebud: Then *she* got up and grabbed a hairbrush. And. . .

Juniper: . . . and against our will . . .

Rosebud: she put ponytails in our h-h-hair . . .

The entire room dissolves into tears and trauma, and the therapist runs back and forth between the women, consoling and comforting.

SCENE END

I do so like to keep track of which of the horrid and mean things I do to my children will likely be raised in future therapy. Evidently, ensuring their hair is thoroughly brushed and partially ponytailed for school pictures is going to be high on that list.

Or at least, that’s the message I got this a.m.

And how was your morning?

Tags:
Posted in Being a girl, In the mother/stepmother 'hood, Juniper, Rosebud, family | 4 Comments »

There’s a doughnut hole in my blog.

Thursday, October 1st, 2009

Or at least, a hole in the middle of my weekly posting routine. That’s okay, it perfectly matches the big ol’ doughnut hole in my week.

I can only attribute my absence to the fact that my meat life* suddenly took a turn for the demanding. There are things happening, not least of which being Rosebud’s first ever sore throat. This is not to say it’s her first cold, but it’s certainly the first time it’s sat in her throat and a little bit in her chest. Still, her energy level is completely par for the course, so she’s out there, infesting her schoolmates with the cold that came from school in the first place.

In a very real, very demented way, I’m relieved. I have always been suspicious of her remarkably good health and her seeming ability to avoid contracting the ailments of those around her. I know, I know - you’re now waving frantically from the back of the gift horse, trying to prevent me from staring morbidly into his mouth, but . . . well, if your child had been sick less than a handful of times from infancy to four, wouldn’t you wonder?

So anyway - two and a bit weeks into school and she’s got a cold. Like the normal kids.

*Oh, I love how graphic this expression is.

Posted in Health, Odds and Sods, Rosebud | No Comments »

I think my four-year old reads my blog.

Monday, September 28th, 2009

I’m back from the hen party weekend - older, wiser and with more laugh lines. I’m back, though I’m not even remotely recovered from it. Could fall asleep right here, right now, given half a chance.

A good time was had by all, and I’m not sure I’ve laughed that hard, that often, in a very long time. I’d say more, but I’m involved in a pact of silence. Telling you about it would mean I’d be visited by three spirits tonight, each intent upon removing some portion of my person. And while there are some clearly non-essential bits of fat that I could lose, I’d infinitely prefer to have it done by a surgeon and not by vengeful spirits with an agenda and pointy claws they’re not afraid to use.

But I digress.

You remember that post I wrote before the weekend, about Rosebud’s tyrannical ways? No? Scroll down to the most recent post-past and give it a scan.

I’ll wait.

Up to speed? Good then.

Here’s the thing. I think Rosebud has been reading my blog on the sly. Not only am I sincerely offended that she’s snooping around without my knowledge, I’m really pissed that she’s been holding out on me vis-à-vis her ability to read.

You may scoff if you will. I know very well that most four-year olds are not yet at the full reading stage, and many are not yet fully versed in the Google fu required to be blog fans or even successful Internet navigators.

However. I *know* she reads my blog, because she goes out of her way to confound me with her insider knowledge.

That ‘tude, that overdrive, that crazy, drive-us-up-a-walledness she’s been displaying?

Gone. Disappeared. Vanished as though it never was.

I came home from my weekend to reports AND manifestations of my sweet girl returned. This is not to say that she’s devoid of all ‘tude. Oh no. She wouldn’t be herself if that had all vanished and I was presented with Stepford child. She still has her moments. But she was calm, settled, cuddly and generally happy.

Which was good, because I was so tired that I doubt I could’ve managed Rosebud-overdrive.

Still. I’m going to have to figure out how to use her secret readings to my advantage.

P.S. Yes, Rosebud. I’m totally on to you.

Posted in Being a girl, Rosebud | 4 Comments »

Why didn’t you tell me?!?

Friday, September 25th, 2009

D’ya know, before Rosebud started school, Buddy and I were terribly excited. We fell asleep each night, with visions of sugar plummy tantrum elimination dancing in our heads.

See, for some odd reason, we had it in our heads that school would engage our Rosebud to such a degree that she’d arrive home, already nigh-onto-comatose from all the stimulation. All we’d have to do is cajole her into wakefulness long enough for her to eat dinner and have a little mellow family time before we removed the toothpicks propping her eyeballs open and let her sleep.

So tired and so satisfied from her time at school, we imagined, Rosebud would immediately cease any and all tantrums and whims and histrionics.

Two weeks in, we’re actually reminiscing fondly about the defcon 5 moments she used to have as a pre-schooler.

She’s invented a new level, you see. School appears to have taken our darling Rosebud, energetic little master of determination that she already was, and put her into overdrive.

I’m telling you, it’s like she’s got the four-year old equivalent of ‘roid rage.

She arrives home from school, usually having already unleashed the sound and fury at least once over having to leave school for the day. She then proceeds to have drama after drama after drama, on subjects as varied as “What’s for dinner” to “Wrong episode of show” to “what do you mean it’s bedtime”.

Throughout all of it, she seems to have lost the ability to be still for more than three seconds at a time. She talks constantly, moves constantly and already (in her own words) “fell in love” with a boy in her class.

Buddy picks the girls up from school (whilst I’m power-walking home for the exercise) and he reports that she’s most often holding court in front of at least half a dozen children when he arrives.

She is turbo, she is dynamo, she is energy incarnate.

And we’re exhausted. We’re waiting for her to suddenly realize that she’s beyond exhausted and somehow, some way, return to some level of life approaching normal.

I mean, honestly, this girl still makes us laugh hysterically. The things that emerge from her mouth are beyond pithy.

But still. I want to know when she’ll be coming down a notch. I also want to know, Intarweb . . . WHY DIDN’T YOU WARN ME THIS WAS COMING?

Posted in Being a girl, Rant, Rosebud, buddy, family | No Comments »

When a door closes . . .

Monday, September 14th, 2009

first-day

Posted in Getting older, Happiness, Rosebud, growing things | 4 Comments »

The end of an era.

Friday, September 11th, 2009

Today, Buddy and I both walked Rosebud into Our Lady of Daycare’s house, so that we could all say goodbye. As of Monday, Rosebud will be in school, with all her extracurricular nurturing needs being managed in-house, thanks to a really comprehensive school care program.

But to say goodbye to Our Lady of Daycare . . . wow. This is the woman who has spent every weekday with Rosebud since she was just over a year old. From the time of diapers, fevers, bottles and baby food, this has been the other pair of hands holding Rosebud steady, and the other pair of feet running after her in play.

Aw hells - I’m typing this and getting teary.

Working mothers get a lot of bollocking over the fact that their children are “being raised by someone else”. But the disdain in that completely ignores who the “someone else” is. I mean, all this time, Rosebud has been *loved* and *cared for* and *nurtured* by an extra person. Not instead of me - as well as me and the rest of her family.

She’s had more love, more attention and more support, rather than less.

I know I can’t speak for everyone. I know I can’t speak for every daycare. But I can tell you that, while Rosebud will only have limited memories of her time with Our Lady of Daycare, she is a happier, healthier child because of all the love she received.

Posted in Getting older, Rosebud | 1 Comment »

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